Not Always Right
by Reizbar-Ookami
Summary: Working in a game shop, Joey and Yugi meet their fair share of customers that are... a few cards short of a full deck, so to speak. Unfortunately, sometimes those customers are more plentiful than others.
1. Penny Pincher

Penny Pincher

Yugi blinked as a handful of cards and a jar of pennies were set down in front of him. He looked up at the woman in surprise. "Um… Is this all for you, ma'am?"

The woman smiled. "Yes! They're for my son's birthday!"

"Okay." He smiled back and rang up the cards. "That'll be thirty-five dollars and forty-nine cents."

"Here you go!" she replied happily, shoving the jar of pennies forward. "I'd like to pay with this!"

Yugi's eyebrow twitched. "…Ma'am, that's over thirty-five hundred pennies."

"Then you'd best get counting!" she replied crisply, smile becoming a little chilly.

The teen forced a smile again and reached into the jar to scoop out a handful of pennies. "Yes, ma'am."

Three thousand five hundred and thirty-eight pennies later, Yugi wanted to die. Or choke the woman with her pennies. He was grumpy.

Very grumpy.

"Alright, ma'am, I've counted out thirty-five dollars and forty-nine cents. Here's your change, and a bag for your cards—"

The woman huffed and snatched both the bag and her jar of pennies. "Took you long enough!"

Yugi sputtered as the woman turned and stormed out of the shop, mouth dropping open in both indignation and anger.

'_Bitch. Bitch! ! BITCH!'_

The boy that had been in line behind her smiled at him sweetly. "Hey, I know this game is gonna be ten-oh-one. Can you spare a penny?"


	2. Battle Scars

Battle Scars

"That'll be eighty dollars, sir," Joey stated after a moment, placing the board games into a bag for the elderly man.

"Do you have military discounts?" the man asked, digging around his wallet for his debit card.

"Um… I think we do. Hold on, I'll check." Walking over to the stock room, the blond poked his head in. "Hey, Gramps, do we do military discounts?"

"Of course, as long as they have their military ID!" Solomon replied. "I'll be out to show you how to do it in a minute."

The teen smiled and turned back to the man waiting with his card extended. "You're in luck! We do! I just need to see your military ID!"

"Ah, I'm sure I have it in here somewhere," the elderly man muttered, digging back into his wallet.

"We'll hafta wait for my boss, so take as much time as ya need!" Joey replied, walking back over to the register.

"I can also show you my scars!" he added, then lifted his shirt.

Joey gasped in horror, sputtered, gagged, and tripped over his own feet, crashing to the floor in a painful manner that nonetheless relieved him of the grotesque sight of scars all across the old man's wrinkly chest. "_Oh God!_"

As he lay twitching on the ground, Solomon stepped out of the stockroom. "Oh, that's a great scar! You know, I've got a few myself from my archaeology expeditions—"

"_Yugi!_" Joey wailed, scrambling out from behind the counter and running back to the kitchen.

"…Now what's _his_ problem?" the patron mumbled, frowning.

Solomon scoffed. "Obviously a weak stomach."

"Mm, that's probably it. Children these days…"


	3. Door Jam

Author's Note: I guess I should have mentioned this earlier, but these little drabbles are based from the website "Not Always Right." These things have actually happened to people. Yes, you may go ahead and cry, realizing that people ARE this stupid.

Door Jam

Joey tilted his head. "That kid's been standin' in front of the door for a while, Yugi."

"I know," the smaller boy sighed, then smiled. "Rock, paper, scissors?"

"How 'bout I'll-punt-you-over-this-counter-scissors?" the blond replied cheerfully.

Yugi glared at him but walked around the counter to go over to the boy staring intently at the door. "Hi there. I noticed that you checked out a minute ago. Is there something else you need?"

"Your door won't open!"

The two teens stared for a moment.

Eventually, though, Yugi asked, "Excuse me?"

"Your freaking door won't open!" the child repeated in frustration.

"…You know the door isn't automatic, right? It's just a normal door." When the child looked up at him, he smiled again. "Like your bedroom door; you just swing it open!"

"…I don't get it."

Yugi made a shoving motion with his hand. "Just push it open!"

The child blinked at him. "Oh, okay." Then, he backed up and tried to 'activate' the door again. "It's not opening!"

"You have to _push_ it," Yugi repeated in frustration. "You know, like when you came in? It didn't just swing open then!"

"…Oh, yeah!" The child shoved the door open and exited the shop.

The smaller teen let out a frustrated huff and turned back to his friend, unable to help a chuckle when he saw the blond's mouth hanging open because of what he'd just seen. "Well?"

"How the fuck does he even remember to breathe?" Joey exclaimed, face twisting in disgust. "And _that_ is the future of our country. I might as well hang myself now."


	4. First Impressions

First Impressions

Joey smiled brightly as a woman set her purchases on the counter to be rung up. "Hi! Did you find everything okay?" he asked, beginning to bag them.

The woman eyed him skeptically. "You look like a serial killer!"

"Oh, than—wait, what?" The blond blinked, stunned. "…Excuse me?"

The woman nodded firmly. "Yes. You look exactly like you've killed someone, then locked the corpse in your basement."

Joey stared, speechless.

"Of course, that could just be the way you look." She sighed. "I'm not here to judge. Here! Keep the change!"

Joey watched her leave, mouth still hanging open, then turned to slowly look at Yugi, who had just come from the kitchen with a soda for him to keep under the counter.

Yugi blinked. "…Well, when you go into your gangster mode, you _do_ look like you might kill someone."

"…"

"…Have a soda, Joey."


	5. Alphabetical Problems

Author's Note: I'm running low on horrible situations to put Joey and Yugi in. If you don't mind having your own absolutely stupid retail moments put in fan-fiction form, you can send them to me in a private message. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN THE REVIEWS. I've found that being given ideas in reviews are too difficult to keep up with, and private messages are much easier to manage. Thank you!

Alphabetical Problems

"Excuse me? Sir?"

Yugi turned and smiled sweetly. "How can I help you, ma'am?"

She frowned. "Can you help me find some of these games here?" she asked holding up a list of games and cards. "I just can't seem to figure out this system you're using."

Yugi blinked. "…The alphabet?"

"Yeah," she sighed, eyeing all of the different cards and games around the shop anxiously.

He heard Joey laughing from the stock room, and he could just _hear_ the blond's thought of, _"Jesus, even __**I**__ know the alphabet!"_


	6. Grumpy Cashier

Author's Note: My mother is a badass; this is based off of an experience she told me about when she worked at a large retailer. This is why you never rob a store just before closing. CASHIERS GET CRAZY PISSED NEAR THE END OF THE DAY.

Also. Threw in some puppyshipping just because. **:)

* * *

**

Grumpy Cashier

Joey sighed as he heard the bell on the door jingle and looked up slowly from the register. He felt his blood run cold as he saw the knife, and he felt himself go rigid on instinct in preparation for a fight. However, he stood merely stood there, looking for all the world like a sheep ready to be told where to go and what to do.

The man brandished his knife threateningly. "Open your register and gimme your money, bitch!"

At that, the blond immediately scowled. It was just him closing tonight, he was tired, he was hungry, and he was angry that the date that he'd been planning was probably canceled. Today was not good. In fact, it had been a Very Bad Day. And he was in a Very Bad Mood.

"Well, gimme your money! I'm not askin' you again!" the man snarled, glaring at him.

Joey slammed his hands down on the counter and glared at him, leaning forward just a little bit. "NO! Ya know what, I'm too damn tired for this! Get the fuck out!"

The would-be robber was startled, to say the least. "B-but—"

"GET OUT BEFORE I LEAP OVER THIS COUNTER AND PUMMEL YOU INTO A MUSH THAT NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER WILL RECOGNIZE!" the blond roared, one hand balling into a fist.

The man sputtered in confusion. "B-but I have a knife, and you got nothin'—"

"_If I get my hands on you,_" Joey began icily. "_That knife will __**not**__ be able to save you._"

The man stared at him for a moment in terror, then turned and scampered out of the store.

Seto stepped aside so he could leave, raising an eyebrow as he saw the patron shoving a knife into his pocket. "Um-?"

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you. That cashier's crazy," he exclaimed, before dashing out of sight.

Seto watched him go, still puzzled, then stepped into the game shop. "You ready to go, puppy?"

"Fucking shit damn hell fuck shit fuck damn UGH!"

"…Bad day?"

"Customers are _stupid_ and on top of all that, THAT GUY JUST TRIED TO ROB ME!" Joey snarled, pointing at the door.

The brunet blinked in surprise. "…Do you want me to call the police or something?"

"No, I think I pretty much made him piss his pants. He'll never come here when _I'm_ working anyway." Joey locked the register and hopped over the counter. "Dinner, please!"

"…Okay."

* * *

In all honesty, my mother wasn't nearly so loud or mean. She just glared at the would-be robber and said, "No. Absolutely not. Go rob _her_ register. *points to neighboring register* I'm not in the mood for this, damn it! GO AWAY!" And he did. **:|** Cashiers are SRS BSNS.


	7. Discount Dummy

Author's Note: This story is adapted from one of Sakusha Saelbu's experiences in retail. Because retail sucks that hard. It really, really does.

* * *

Discount Dummy

Joey smiled cheerfully. "Here's your receipt! Thanks for your purchase!"

His smile fell when the woman frowned as she looked at her receipt. "No, that's not right!" She snatched up a board game from the sack and held it up angrily. "This game is supposed to be on sale!"

The blond hummed and looked at the other already bagged games, then threw his head back and whined, "Yuuuuugiiiiii!"

Yugi came from the stairs, back from his break. "Yeah?"

"This lady has prblshamsghslkj. Goin' on break," Joey mumbled, then scampered up the stairs.

Yugi blinked after him, then turned toward the lady with a pleasant smile, deciding not to even try understanding what his friend had said. "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"This game is supposed to be on sale!" she shouted, throwing the receipt at him. "It was on the discount table!"

His smile fell immediately; perhaps he should have tried to understand the garbled mumble as the warning Joey had probably intended it to be. "Ma'am, if you'll please look to your left, you'll see the rack this game was on. It is full price. A customer probably put it on the table and forgot about it, and neither I nor my coworkers have had the chance to put it back. I assure you that this game is _not_ on sale and it is, in fact, full price, no matter where in the store you found it."

The snatched her purse off the counter and screamed, "The customer is always right! I want to talk to your manager!"

Yugi scowled. "Ma'am, I am one of the owners of this store. I _am_ the manager."

"This is _terrible_ customer service! I'm going to call later and report you to the manager!" she shouted, storming out of the shop.

The doe-eyed boy sighed through his nose loudly, glaring after her, then turned to scowl at the stairway, where he saw his friend peering at him cautiously. "It wasn't time for your break."

"She scared me," the blond mumbled, trudging back to the counter. He glanced at the bag of games and frowned. "She left her stuff her."

Yugi nodded. "Yup."

"She already paid for it."

"Yup."

"And we can't void the transaction without her card."

"Yup."

"…So what do we do with it?"

Yugi stared at the games for a few moments, then looked up at the blond and deadpanned, "Well, you've been wanting that board game for a few weeks now."

Joey squealed and snatched the board game off the counter, scurrying to go put it in his backpack. "I claim this board game for Joey, King of the Kaiba Mansion!"

"Take these capsule monsters for Mokuba, too. He probably doesn't play anymore, but I know for a fact that he has a huge collection hidden away in the mansion somewhere."

"Mwee!"


	8. Miss Ma'am

Miss Ma'am

Yugi smiled at the woman purchasing some games sweetly. "Will this be all for you, ma'am?"

The customer scowled. "Ma'am? _Ma'am?_ Do I look old enough to be a ma'am!"

"Uh…" He recoiled slightly. "Sorry, miss."

"'Miss?' That's even worse! You're making me sound like an old maid! I'm still young and beautiful!" She turned a glare on Joey. "And you! Bag boy! I want two separate bags for these!"

Joey smiled and used his hand to mime shooting a gun as he winked at her. "You got it, babe."

The woman blushed and took her receipt from the other boy. "Uh, I… O-okay."

The blond grinned and handed her the two bags. "Have a nice day!"

"Th-thank you very much!"

Yugi watched her leave, blinking slowly, then turned to look up at his friend. "…Dude."

"Whaaat?" Joey whined. "You're lookin' at me like I did somethin' wrong!"

"…Dude."

"Well she wasn't hideous!" he exclaimed in embarrassment, then huffed and stalked into the backroom. "I'm checkin' stock!"

"Seriously?" Yugi called after him. "Did that really just happen?"

"Shut up and leave me alone!"

Yugi stared at the door the blond had disappeared behind for quite some time.


End file.
